i-effed-it-all-up:

[opens book]

"(insert female here) was just a normal girl until a dark, mysterious, handsome boy entered her life"

[slamS BOOK SHUT, THROWS IT ACROSS THE ROOM, BURNS IT]

khaleesmas1:

hnxy:

khaleesmas1:

date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve

Yeah that’s right, be a fucking gold digger, whores.

u sound poor how dare you talk to me 

ashtoniousrex:

backstories to random gifs are my favorite thing and they need to continue

iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
iPhone user: I just like this pho-
Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*
#me  

awwww-cute:

My dog got excited when I got home from work and ran around me while peeing

heartyglobe:

filed under: things celebrities say that the media sweeps under the rug to continue making controversy over them being “awful role models”

yzma:

'babe, what's the safety word'

'jacobs by marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs in collaboration with marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs'

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

#me  

ruinedchildhood:

When I lose my mom at Walmart

aslightlyangryfeminist:

thatsonofamitch:

hitlervevo:

i wanna know the story behind this

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What the FUCK

thenameisalexturner:

arctic monkeysaustralia / new zealand ‘09

broternia:

*begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son 

bonelessbuffalochicken:

"You’re gonna do great today"